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That’s a new perspective for me, thank you December 6, 2019

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I needed to hear that… October 29, 2019

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Dear Christine

Thank you so much. I think you are completely right. I needed to hear it in the way you have spoken to me.
I have felt a release after reading your email.
Thank you.
Miss anon UK

I appreciate you greatly September 5, 2019

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Thank you so much for your reply!
I know what you’re saying is right, that going through the fire is tough but it’ll be worth it and a time ordained by God and is in preparation for something.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe and trust in God’s bigger picture plan.
I thought about what my parents might be thinking but never considered that they may be going through things.
Thank you for your words of encouragement, I appreciate you greatly.
anon UK

so helpful! March 28, 2019

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You have been a really good “agony aunt” & I have been able to talk things through to you via email in a very cathartic way! Thanks for being there and  for being so helpful and concerned.

UK.

You have been such a blessing to me Christine. March 18, 2019

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Thanks again for replying Christine.
I have just been given a massive confirmation through your message, so thank you.
Praise God and may He bless you always!
You have been such a blessing to me Christine.
God bless you.
Thank you so much.
Blessings to you and your loved ones.
Anon UK.

God bless your work August 30, 2018

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Dear Christine
I would like to thank you most sincerely for your very kind remarks. Your comments are a big reassurance to me.
Thanks again
God Bless your work.
UK.
www.christinesmithbooks.com

I hate tattoos! April 13, 2018

Posted by Christine Smith in Uncategorized.
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Hello Christian Agony Aunt.

I hate tattoos so can you please tell me if you can if it’s wrong to have them. Although I hate them my boyfriend still wants to have some. I think they are ugly and who’s to say a person won’t hate their tattoo later in life. But I also think a Christian shouldn’t have tattoos. They look awful.

We are both Christians and we know Christians as well as preachers who have tattoos and I am disappointed how my boyfriend has been influenced by them.

I would love to know if there is anything at all in the Bible to show him it’s wrong. I’m sure if he could see something in the Bible against, it may help even though he seems determined to get some. I really wish he would not have them for my sake knowing I don’t like them, but it doesn’t seem enough of a reason for him. It seems like a craving he has. He even says some of them will be Christian tattoos!

I’d love to be able to show him something from Scripture to change his mind, as he loves God and is a great living Christian really.

Thanks for any help on this

Miss C. England.

Christine’s reply…

Hello Miss C,

Thank you for writing in to my Christian Agony Aunt.

I feel sorry for you as it must be hard that you are to have a husband who will have a marked body when it is something you dislike, and especially if and when you have children one day who may want to copy their Dad.

Tattooing is a controversial issue and especially amongst Christians. Some get tattoos to show rejection of parental values. Others get them because of peer pressure or because they believe they are stylish or a form of art. However, tattoos can become an addiction like any other such as plastic surgery. It is a known fact that many who have plastic surgery for cosmetic reasons have to keep having more, and the same goes for tattoos.

The number of people who got tattoos in their youth and regret it later is high and the laser treatment to remove tattoos that many are having to endure is much more painful than having the tattoo. Even the most pain resistant person is brought to tears. Many undergo risky surgery to have them removed, but the surgery is not always successful and leaves scarring, not to mention the expense.

Then there are the health issues with tattoos from the dyes used, which can cause hepatitis, and blood disorders. Those who have been tattooed are nine times more likely to be infected with hepatitis C.  People who’ve been tattooed over the the last 10 years have been urged to get checked for the disease because it can lie dormant for years.

I feel like you and hate tattoos. People say the Bible isn’t clear on tattooing, yet it couldn’t be clearer,

Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the Lord.”  (Leviticus 19:28).

All Scripture is for our own protection, not to spoil our fun.

This verse is dealing with the pagan habits and rituals of the people living around the Israelites. God was telling His people not to copy them. He wanted His people to be different and notably set apart from that culture which included the cutting of their flesh amongst other things God was against.

The tattooed bodies of the pagans identified them immediately as not wanting to be disassociated with God’s ways or His people. And God’s people didn’t want to be associated with their wicked ways and clean flesh was the way they could show it .

So the question is: is getting a tattoo still a form of paganism? Is it still forbidden or displeasing to God today? I cannot see that God has changed His opinion,“I the Lord do not change” (Malachi 3:6).

We can see how tattooing is very much alive in heathen countries and their form of worship which is witchcraft. So why would anyone want to do what heathens do?

I think God must be sad on seeing His children getting their flesh marked and cut like pagans as if it is  ‘cool’ to do so, when it is merely copying heathen countries.

Any type of self-laceration or marking of the body is still is prohibited among the Hebrew people, still being associated with pagan cults and heathen worship. We may not be  Jewish by birth but if we have come to know the Lord we have been grafted into the family of God and have the same Father.

Just because a preacher has a tattoo doesn’t mean it’s OK. Young Christians can be so influenced by a preacher they admire and preachers should keep in mind that the Bible says a preacher has to be an example, “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more severely than others” (James 3:1).

This subject of tattoos reminds me of the subject of nudism. Nudists have asked me to prove to them from the Bible that nudism is wrong maintaining that there is nothing in the Bible against it. But even when I have presented them with umpteen Scriptures that nudism is wrong they close their ears to it because it’s something they want to do.

I do hope you will be able to dissuade your boyfriend from marking his body. Does he know that people with tattoos are less likely to be employed. Also, fads come to an end and one day it will be anything but ‘cool’ to have tattoos.

“Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19).

So if we are ‘not our own’ who’s are we? If we belong to the Lord do we have a right to do as we please with our body?

Having said all this Miss C, I think it would be nice if your boy friend considered how strongly his wife-to-be feels about it, and thus next Scripture may help him to consider your feelings a little more… “Love is not self-seeking (1 Corinthians 13).

“Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

God bless, Christine.

 Reply from Chloe:

 Man I like it! Thanks.

Christine Smith’s books. www.christinesmithbooks.com

My job… January 4, 2018

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Hi.

I don’t know if you can help or offer advice on my circumstance, but I would really appreciate your point of view and a possible starting point on potentially changing my life.

I have never been a religious person but I am finding myself becoming more interested in Christianity and using my life to help others which is what I believe is a core Christian value.
My problem is I work as a Domanatrix and think this may be at odds with a more Christian lifestyle.
My question really is, is it possible to be a good Christian and continue with this lifestyle? I feel that if I want to become more involved in Christianity it will be necessary for me to stop what I’m doing.
I don’t necessarily feel like I am doing wrong but I’m not sure if this is because I am still quite ignorant of bible teachings.
I hope you can take the time to offer your advice/opinion.
Many thanks.
anon.

UK

Christine’s reply,
Hello Miss Anon UK,
Thank you for writing to my Christian Agony Aunt.
It has to be commended how you have written to a Christian source instead of a secular one for advice as it does show that you have a desire to do what is right according to Biblical teaching.
You are privileged because the Bible makes clear that when a desire for Christianity begins it is because God is drawing you because naturally speaking we do not have a desire for God.
As you get to know more about Christianity and do come to accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour you will begin to read His word, and God will start to convict you of anything in your life that is not well pleasing to Him or that is incompatible with a Christian lifestyle and it will be up to you to respond.
The Bible speaks of 30%, 60%, 100% Christians and God loves all and we can have as much or as little of Him as we choose. But the very best and closest walk with God is when responding to His conviction – regardless of what some Christians may approve or disapprove of, because sadly these days there are some Christians who are choosing to disregard certain Scriptures if it happens to oppose something they want to do. The Bible calls this rebellion.
To be blunt as you have taken the time to ask…  from certain Scriptures, I do not think that your particular job is what a Christian should be involved in. I can send you many of these Scriptures if you would like.
God bless you in your search for the truth,
Christine.
Christian Agony Aunt.
www.christinesmithbooks.com

Friendship dilemma July 9, 2017

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Dear Christian Agony Aunt,

I understand yours is a blog for Christian women, but I do hope you can still help me out!  I’m not a woman, but a young Christian man. The thing is, there just doesn’t seem to be any other resource like this where Christian men can seek help, so I’ve come to you for advice! And I think mine is a problem for a lot of Christians.

I have a best friend of the opposite sex who’s not a Christian. We’ve spent a lot of time together, but not physically, because she lives in a different country. We spend several hours a week talking to each other over Skype.

Recently, we have come to the realisation that spending so much time together alone could result in one or the other developing romantic feelings for the other, and given how compatible we already are as best friends, such a possibility doesn’t seem to be an entirely unlikely prospect in the future as there seems to be mutual attraction.

As a Christian man, I understand that we aren’t to be yoked to pre-believers (I use this word in the optimistic hope that every unbelieving friend I have will one day come to know the Lord), and so will definitely not pursue a romantic relationship with her before she knows the Lord. I also realise that these continued Skype sessions are in a way dangerous, in possibly fomenting a potential romantic attraction that will be a difficult matter to deal with in the future.

That’s why I’ve decided to tell her that we should probably take a break from Skyping one another for a month, just to sort ourselves out. However, sometimes I feel like this ‘one-month break’ feels like a disobedient compromise, in that if I truly want to guard my heart and remove all sources of temptation, I should be making a clean break and never Skype her again. I am, however, uncomfortable with this latter option, and do not believe it is the right thing to do, for the following reasons:

  1. I do not wish to stop being friends with her because we’ve gotten quite close (platonic) and have grown to trust and confide in each other. To stop Skyping her completely would mean that we would not be able to be in touch with each other in any significant way (we’re close to 11,000 km away from each other). I still want to be friends with her and maintain this treasured friendship for many years to come.
  2. Our Skype sessions have also been an opportunity for me to discuss God’s word with her so to terminate it could make the possibility of her salvation a more remote one.
  3. It seems to me that “cancelling” this relationship would be exceedingly hurtful, and it would first and foremost be a terrible thing to hurt her feelings to this extent, but also secondly reflect rather badly on Christians as people who would terminate friendships without thinking just to follow a code.
  4. Objectively speaking, I believe she could potentially be a fitting life partner when she comes to know the Lord.
I am not sure whether to continue Skyping her or do it less frequently. Firstly, as already mentioned, there is a good chance that a romantic relationship might arise from it, and that would be sinful and difficult. Secondly, I come from a church with stringent rules about male-female relationships, one of them being that one-to-one meetings are absolutely forbidden between people of opposite genders. Although I may feel such a rule is harsh, I can now understand where they are coming from. But furthermore, even if this rule might not be perfect, it still feels like if I were to Skype her I would still be disobeying an authority God has placed in my life.
I am thus in a dilemma. Should I Skype her as per normal (once a week), take a one-month break and see how it goes, or never Skype her again? How should I progress with this friendship?
Thank you so much for your time!

Mr annon

Christine’s reply:

Thank you for writing to my Christian Agony Aunt. 

You are right when you say yours is a problem for many Christians, and the sad thing is that many have thought that once they married a non-Christian they would automatically become one.

The Scriptures are not there to spoil our fun but are there for our protection and from ruining our lives.  Marrying someone who does not become a Christian can turn into a very complicated life where you end up with totally different interests: going to church alone; having different friends from one another; one wants to do things the Christian isn’t comfortable with. It eventually becomes a lonely and destructive way to live. There  can also be be a lot of jealousy when one loves the Lord and the other begins to feel second place not being able to understand it.

A little sadness now in ending a relationship is nothing compared to a life of friction, unhappiness, and the pain of a divorce.

You mention pre-believers, but the Scripture only states ‘unbelievers’  which rules out presumption. You say yourself that this relationship can be dangerous.

Many ‘skype relationships’ have fallen apart once a couple have met and one is left disappointed and hurt, no matter how long they feel they have got to know one another via skype.

You comment on your church’s disapproval. I don’t know anything about your church so it is difficult for me to say if they genuinely have people’s best interest at heart or just a desire to control the lives of others.  But if your church is a good one with sound Biblical teaching, I would take notice of them otherwise you are going to feel more and more guilty and deceitful about hiding something from them that they would disapprove of, and eventually you will feel isolated.

If it were me: I would be determined not to get romantic with this person because I am a Christian and she is not. I would seek skype friendships with believers only. I would be aware that there are sure to be things that I cannot know about anyone via internet, and I would be aware that people can surprise us later. People have been known to withhold the truth.

I would keep in mind that marriage is already challenging even when married to a Christian. This girl lives 11,000 miles away from you so either you or her would have to leave their own country and culture. I know people who’ve done it and it can become a complicated and expensive life when the one who left their country misses their own culture and family and has to keep returning to see their family.

I personally would prefer a spouse from my own country and of my own culture, and a Christian I could meet with face to face with, getting to know their background, family and relatives.

The Bible is full of Scriptures that says we are to keep the world at arms length and the reasons for it. I can send many verses if your require them.

It is noble that you are witnessing to her.  But I don’t believe what you say: “a loss of a positive Christian influence in her life, and make the possibility of her salvation a more remote one”  God does use us to win people, but people’s salvation does not depend on us and no-one will be lost if we fail in any way; and we don’t have to risk compromising our own spiritual well-being. It is God who shines His truth into someone not us.

God wants us to look after our soul, “Do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Cor 15:33). I realise that not all unsaved people have bad morals but things that are wrong to a Christian will not be wrong to the unsaved who are influenced by world’s standards.

You say “terminate friendships without thinking just to follow a code” The ‘code’ is the Word of God and is what you believe.

Every blessing

Christine.

Christian Agony Aunt

Christine’s books    www.christinesmithbooks.com

Reply from Mr anon

 

Thank you very much for your reply.

It’s been helpful.

God bless and thank you for such wisdom and advice!

Mr anon

Is my friend right? June 28, 2017

Posted by Christine Smith in Uncategorized.
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Dear Christian Agony Aunt,

Hello.

I buy women’s magazines to read the agony aunt letters. As a Christian I know what we read is important so I would never buy certain books if they were sexual or had bad language in them. But I feel agony aunts are different as they aren’t fiction. I like to read about other people’s problems. I do admit though that some of the things I have read continue to haunt me and go over and over in my head.

I was very pleased when I came across your Christian agony aunt but there is hardly any so I still have to resort to reading secular ones. I know some of the problems can be shocking, but it is a fact of life that such things go on. I suppose I could be described as a ‘noisy’ person, yet I can’t see it as prying if people have written about a problem.

I’m writing to you because my friend says I should not read agony aunts letters. Is she right? What do you think and do you read secular agony aunts?

Christine’s answer:

Hello, and thanks for writing in.

I don’t think your friend is being judgemental. I think she has your well being at heart and I agree with what your friend has said to you.

You say that some things you have read have “haunted your mind” shows that your friend cares and has given you good advice.

I myself do not read secular agony aunts and I dislike them intensely. I do read the news as I need to know what is going on in the world to be able to write accordingly. But I don’t continue reading all the gory details. The headlines are daunting enough!

Here are some of my reason why I don’t read secular agony aunts:

*You say you read them because they aren’t fiction. But freelance journalists are hired for them and these letters are mostly fabrications to keep people buying the magazines as ‘ordinary’ issues would not attract readers.

* I do not need to know everything that happens in a person’s personal life or bedroom. I don’t need to read about things that will not do me any good, and in fact could do me harm. It can be filling our minds with things we just do not need to know.

*Agony aunt letters have caused people to feel inadequate, odd, or strange if they read about something they hadn’t thought of doing when they’d felt quite normal and happy before. These letters unsettle people and cause them to experiment and have threatened good marriages.

However, my main reason for not reading secular agony aunt letters is that I could not cope with some of the answers they give to people. The answers are from the world’s standards which are opposite from God’s so I would get upset on seeing the replies.

Like you say Paula, many things do go on in the world, but do we need to know about them all?

I think that secular agony aunts are bad for the mind,  “It is shameful to talk about what some people do in secret” (Ephesians 5:12).

Of course, we should be compassionate about what people are going through. But it has to be with people we meet and then we know we are hearing a genuine problem, giving us the opportunity to tell them about the Lord and that we will pray for them.

“whatsoever is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, good, think on these things” (Philippians 4:8).

God bless,

Christine. Christian Agony Aunt.

Reply from Paula.

I know you are right as I have had ongoing nightmares about some things I have read. But the temptation is still there. But I’m going to do my best to resist.

Thanks Christine. I’m pleased I wrote to you and am so glad that you are there for people.

Blessings Paula. UK.

Christine Smith’s books:  www.christinesmithbooks.com